What To Do With The Knowledge

I will use the circumstance around my dad whom the poem “A Man of Few Words” was about. He never consciously realized that he had abandonment issues. However, if that medical report was done in his early teens, or at least before he got married, perhaps he may have made different decisions.

If he had the opportunity to receive therapy for this emotion and took it, how would his life have turned out. My knowledge of my dad and his decisions, makes me realize that he could have had a happier life, if he was consciously aware of the impact of his experience when he was five years old.

Awareness is one thing. Taking action is another. Perhaps the lack of funds is one reason we put off receiving therapy. However, then it is our responsibility to seek government or sponsored organizations, or ones where a donation is all that is required. The point is to take the first step to heal the emotion once it has become apparent.

There may be a scenario where we might not like what we hear. Say for instance a Kinesiology session brings to the fore feelings of hatred towards an ex-partner. Would the response be “No I don’t”. Being honest with ourselves is also a key to healing. The brain is more complicated and so in tune with whom we are. We can deny emotions all we want, but the effect of the hatred will still be manifested. We may think that we put it behind us, but has our brain.

No, it has filed it away until we hear a song, or smell a certain flower, and it all comes flooding back. Consider this quote from Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine:

“From the brain, and

from the brain only,

arise our pleasures, joys,

laughter, and jests, as

well as  our sorrows,

pains, griefs, and tears.”

So whether it is conscious or subconscious, our brain has perceived all our emotions.  Whether our emotions are positive or negative, there will be a definite effect on our physical well-being. So if we want to be physically healthy, negative emotional issues need to be addressed.


Therapies For Emotional Healing

I work in a health store and a regular customer came in last week, saying she is really battling to sort out a bladder infection. We suggested some more natural herbs to help her, but she said she has tried just about everything. Then she said that somebody suggested she sees a physiologist, as the ailment possibly stems from an emotional issue.

That opened the door for me to ask her if that could be the problem. She then said that she often thinks about what could have been and should have been. Seeing a professional person to overcome those feelings would be good,  as she would then probably be able to heal the bladder infection, provided she follows the advice of the nutritionist.

This is what I have been thinking about for so long. We spend so much money, time and effort to find a cure for our physical ailments, not realizing that we need to look at our emotional state of mind. Perhaps it is a conscious state of mind and emotions. Imagine someone sitting down to a really healthy meal, but while eating it, this person is thinking how angry they are with so an so because of what the other person did.

Unknown or perhaps not unknown to them,  harmful chemicals are pouring into their bloodstream which will affect the digestion of  the healthy food. So it would be more beneficial to sort the issue with the offending person, and then eat the healthy meal. For others it may  be a sub-conscious state of mind of  harboring  resentment or anger, but  this will also affect the person’s health. You may ask; so what do I do now.

We visit a health care professional for a check up, and he says we have nothing to worry about. Everything is fine. Physically that might be so. However, how many of us think about seeing someone to just speak about our hurt and emotional pain? If we fall and break an arm, we have it seen to, but when we fall emotionally we try to fix it ourselves. Whether we are conscious or not of our emotional state of mind, there are therapies to help us establish what our true emotional state is. Two therapies that are beneficial are Kinesiology and Scio.

This brings me to something my brother said when we were talking about matters concerning us. He stopped halfway through saying what was on his mind, and I  said he should rather say it. He then said ” yes we should let our hearts spill”. That made such an impact on me. We just have to find someone we can truly trust with our deepest feelings to help us heal.

Results of Suppressed Emotions

Having said that our emotions have to be dealt with, brings me to share some thoughts on a book I’m reading. It is called “The Wisdom of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup.”

I’m not suggesting that all the readers of this poetry or my article are menopausal, or going through a midlife crisis, but she made a point that hit me right in the gut.

People who have had, or still have a sense of not belonging anywhere may eventually suffer from an auto-immune disease such as Celiac, Lupus, or Rheumatoid Arthritis. It resonated with me because I do have Celiac disease (Intolerance to gluten & dairy). I have been gluten free for 17 years now, but when I read that statement it hit home as to the possible why’s to this huge problem.

People have all  gone through something in their lives that has caused distress. Even from before birth, and so we are often born into stressful situations, or have been in car accidents, lost someone we really love. Where are all the emotions around that?

A client at the Health Store said to me that she finds it difficult to cry because when her dad died, her aunt told her to stop crying as she needed to be strong for her mom. So where has the grief and the heartache of losing her dad gone? I don’t know her well enough, so I would not know, but she has a lot to let go of, and now finds it hard to do that.

It is not a sign of weakness to shed tears. Cowboys do need to cry if they are going to be truly strong enough and live long enough to care for their families. I am not a doctor, but I do wonder if the suppressed emotions, especially in men, cause them to drink heavily or become violent.

There again, I’m not suggesting that it is only men who drink heavily and are violent. However, there are many  campaigns to fight against abuse of women and children. The abusers are often men.

One just wonders if their true emotions were uncovered what would all be revealed. Feelings of being unloved, feelings of being unwanted, resulting in anger.

Not all people or men who are emotionally hurt are violent. I wrote a poem called “A Man of Few Words”. It is  about my dad who was the softest kindest man, but he carried around a pain even he himself could not explain.  It was a traumatic event when he was only 5 years old. And then when he was diagnosed with cancer at 71, the doctor’s report on the emotional side said “suffers from abandonment.” So for 66 years he lived not understanding why he always had a low mood, and the only thing that lifted that was alcohol.

These are the things I feel so strongly about. Could we have a better society if we all expressed our pain in the form of tears, therapy, writing or some form of art.  But to suppress emotions lead to substance abuse, possible violence, hurtful words and disease.

I wrote a poem called “He Makes Her Heart Sing” This friend of mine decided to go for therapy. The therapy the doctor used was to let her cry. She told me when all the crying was done, she felt like a brand new person, and could actually move on with her life.

Wouldn’t it be good if all of us could feel brand new, once we address our suppressed emotions. Here is the poem about my dad.

A Man of Few Words

It boggles her mind and she feels truly perplexed

And it is with deep respect

She needs to ask why

Her grandfather allowed a five old boy

To watch his mother die

The five year old grew up to be her dad

Though there was lots of laughter

She recalls his eyes and they were truly sad

For him she had such love but also felt deep pain

That such trauma on him had to rain

She thinks about what the doctor’s report had to say

And to her it really did explain

When it printed out

This man suffers from abandonment

She wonders if he ever understood

Why he often had a low mood

Something stands out about her dad

He was soft spoken when something had to be said

Many a time she would ask why

And he would reply that y is a crooked letter

She thought it better

To leave it at that and to just accept

That her dad was a man of not too many words

Then before he could turn seventy five

He was no longer alive

And to the grave her dad did take

All his hurt and all his pain

That at a tender age him so badly did shake

Emotional Well Being A Must For Good Health

Do you know someone who followed a good diet, exercised and hardly drank or smoked? Yet this person died at a young age. I am sure we all know of someone like that. Perhaps even someone in our own family. Then there is a person who eats what they like, drinks quite a bit and smokes a pack a day. Yet this person lives to a good old age of maybe even 90. What is their secret?

The emotional well being of the latter person is not in question. There is no bitterness, resentment, and not too much worry. Life is enjoyed. That is not to say that people like that do not have any issues, but these issues have been dealt with, or the person does not harp or dwell in the past.

The point is that we all need to eat well and live responsibly to be healthy. However, if there are unresolved issues lurking in our lives, we might as well eat junk. The chemicals released from negative thoughts, whether conscious or unconscious will damage our health anyway.

One way to release adrenaline or cortisol is to cry. It also relieves stress. I am not suggesting that we walk around crying all the time, but people have to have a way of releasing their emotions if they want to be healthy and happy.

The purpose of the poetry is to inspire people to action in their own lives, but also to make them cry. So the poems are sad and tear jerking, but also thought provoking. They are all based on fact and I have met most of the people the poems are about. It is my sincere wish that the poetry will inspire readers to take action for whatever reason there may be for their grief, depression, anger or even hatred.

The person who will benefit the most from a true forgiving spirit is you. How that goal is reached is up to each one of us. A letter to the person who offended. A book about one’s life or poetry or even seeing a therapist. But emotions have to be dealt with. So when we are on the road to emotional recovery, it will be easier to stick to an eating plan and a healthy lifestyle.

Often we start with good intentions of losing weight, improving skin, or whatever the problem may be, only to have those intentions fade. So by dealing with unresolved emotional issues, we can get on with a healthy lifestyle and be truly happy.