Having said that our emotions have to be dealt with, brings me to share some thoughts on a book I’m reading. It is called “The Wisdom of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup.”
I’m not suggesting that all the readers of this poetry or my article are menopausal, or going through a midlife crisis, but she made a point that hit me right in the gut.
People who have had, or still have a sense of not belonging anywhere may eventually suffer from an auto-immune disease such as Celiac, Lupus, or Rheumatoid Arthritis. It resonated with me because I do have Celiac disease (Intolerance to gluten & dairy). I have been gluten free for 17 years now, but when I read that statement it hit home as to the possible why’s to this huge problem.
People have all gone through something in their lives that has caused distress. Even from before birth, and so we are often born into stressful situations, or have been in car accidents, lost someone we really love. Where are all the emotions around that?
A client at the Health Store said to me that she finds it difficult to cry because when her dad died, her aunt told her to stop crying as she needed to be strong for her mom. So where has the grief and the heartache of losing her dad gone? I don’t know her well enough, so I would not know, but she has a lot to let go of, and now finds it hard to do that.
It is not a sign of weakness to shed tears. Cowboys do need to cry if they are going to be truly strong enough and live long enough to care for their families. I am not a doctor, but I do wonder if the suppressed emotions, especially in men, cause them to drink heavily or become violent.
There again, I’m not suggesting that it is only men who drink heavily and are violent. However, there are many campaigns to fight against abuse of women and children. The abusers are often men.
One just wonders if their true emotions were uncovered what would all be revealed. Feelings of being unloved, feelings of being unwanted, resulting in anger.
Not all people or men who are emotionally hurt are violent. I wrote a poem called “A Man of Few Words”. It is about my dad who was the softest kindest man, but he carried around a pain even he himself could not explain. It was a traumatic event when he was only 5 years old. And then when he was diagnosed with cancer at 71, the doctor’s report on the emotional side said “suffers from abandonment.” So for 66 years he lived not understanding why he always had a low mood, and the only thing that lifted that was alcohol.
These are the things I feel so strongly about. Could we have a better society if we all expressed our pain in the form of tears, therapy, writing or some form of art. But to suppress emotions lead to substance abuse, possible violence, hurtful words and disease.
I wrote a poem called “He Makes Her Heart Sing” This friend of mine decided to go for therapy. The therapy the doctor used was to let her cry. She told me when all the crying was done, she felt like a brand new person, and could actually move on with her life.
Wouldn’t it be good if all of us could feel brand new, once we address our suppressed emotions. Here is the poem about my dad.
A Man of Few Words
It boggles her mind and she feels truly perplexed
And it is with deep respect
She needs to ask why
Her grandfather allowed a five old boy
To watch his mother die
The five year old grew up to be her dad
Though there was lots of laughter
She recalls his eyes and they were truly sad
For him she had such love but also felt deep pain
That such trauma on him had to rain
She thinks about what the doctor’s report had to say
And to her it really did explain
When it printed out
This man suffers from abandonment
She wonders if he ever understood
Why he often had a low mood
Something stands out about her dad
He was soft spoken when something had to be said
Many a time she would ask why
And he would reply that y is a crooked letter
She thought it better
To leave it at that and to just accept
That her dad was a man of not too many words
Then before he could turn seventy five
He was no longer alive
And to the grave her dad did take
All his hurt and all his pain
That at a tender age him so badly did shake